Snakes!! Your Canadian Blind Girl

Your Canadian Blind Girl is Getting Married!!

Just a Quick Update! 

Here is my flower girl's dress!! 

The Snowball Effect

The Snowball Effect

     Hi, Everyone! Okay, so as you know I am terrible at blogging! But I am trying to get better...Better at my output in both Facebook, YouTube and here! Sometimes, it is hard enough to keep up with myself because sometimes it seems as though my own life moves faster than even I can keep up with, and then other times it seems to drag...just like everyone else's life too. 

     Today I want to talk about the snowball effect...I don't know if this is an actual thing or something I made up. But if you study avalanches it is because tiny layers of snow add up and add up, because larger layers will not stay on a crest, until eventually the whole crest starts rumbling down the mountainside. 

     Here is the story of my snowball effect...

     After going blind, I started losing myself. Feeling like I didn't know who I was anymore, that the person I had worked so hard to become no longer existed. Being in that place is dark, lonely and frightening even. And I am so glad I am no longer there, but now have a wish and desire to help others who are there! 

     My Snowflake:

     My snowflake fell in my darkest time last year, the year of 2018. A dear man, who came to preach at our church, was telling us about his camp and asked if there would be people interested in coming to volunteer. I was in a sarcastic 'I feel like I'm useless' kind of mood, and piped up and asked 'would you have even me?' To which he surprised me and said yes. He said that he had seen what I could do and knew that there would definitely be things at camp for me to do. There were a few months before the camp and I kept changing my mind: would I go? Would I not go? I ended up going. 

My First Layer of Snow: 

     Once at camp, I was away from the frustrations of the normal every day things that I had started getting annoyed with (mind you there were new frustrations of being in a new place), but some of those frustrations at home were: 

1. the town I live in isn't the best suited for those blind, so I felt confined and not able to go out - where as camp was out in the country and I would go walk down the long lane until I reached the road and come back...I walked numerous times a day and loved the freedom
2. There are some neighbors that are loud, noisy and nuisance during the summer nights...but here in the country it was quiet and peaceful, easy to quickly drift to sleep. 
3. I have this strange obsession with keeping myself busy, but all I took with me to camp was my braille and one crochet project. So separating myself from my own bad habits was a pleasure.
4. I got to ride horse, this might seem trivial and not important to others, but horse back riding is so freeing and liberating to me because it was something I had started doing after losing my sight. So because I couldn't compare to what it feels like before going blind it was such an amazing experience! 
5. There are more, but I feel like I am boring you 😉

     My first layer of snow was me feeling more like my old fun and adventurous self, with a new energy and a new excitement for life! 

My Second Layer of Snow:

     So after having my first fun layer of snow, my second layer came along after meeting a very friendly and kind couple who take care of children in a children's home in the Philippines. I met them and after talking, found out, that they wouldn't mind me coming and seeing what I could do there! That was exciting and I decided to give that a try! Again, in the months leading up to it, I would keep changing my mind...I don't make very much and I ended up spending my savings and what I earned the remainder of that year on a plane ticket and a camera! Money well spent! 

My Third Layer of Snow:

     After arriving in the Philippines and settling in. I met so many nice and kind people! I absolutely love it in the Philippines! Maybe not all the traffic and how busy and noisy some places can be, but everything else I loved :) I also met a lovely young man, who had an amazing ability to see past my blindness, and we had a normal conversation - so normal that I wondered if he knew I was blind. Most people they always want to talk about the blindness and never truly get to know me...But he asked me how my trip was, how I was liking the food, if I was settling in, and really getting to know me. It probably had been at least a year since a stranger was able to talk to me normally that I was amazed by this person. There was just something about him that we both were drawn to each other. We are both religious and prayed and 15 days later, after much prayer, and getting to know and love each other, we became engaged! 

My Avalanche: 

      While life is full of ups and downs, good times and bad times, highs and lows; This relationship is not having an avalanche. Nothing is falling apart. It truly feels like a fairy tale and you know what they say if it's too good to be true then it must be...but I beg to differ. If it's too good to be true for me then it is only because I am refusing to believe that it can come true. Well, I am believing with all my heart, that this dream, this fairy tale, this amazing whirlwind of a love story is absolutely true and I am so happy to have this!!

My Engagement Video: 

     You can watch about my trip to the Philippines blind here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nk2NqKljyM&t=88s

You can watch as I talk about my engagement here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mY9YraTCNo&t=4s

You can see if I know what my fiance looks like here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfhgH6r5z_I

I am not good at blogging :O

So! Needless to say I am not very good at blogging!! If anyone is wondering I never was any good at keeping a diary either! But I am going to start taking a different approach idea to blogging and that is I am going to think of it as a daily journal of encouragement. My daily journal of encouragement is going to have one of two focuses:

1. To encourage others 
2. If I can't think of something that day to encourage others I would think of a way to try to encourage myself? 

I have to say that starting a facebook page, blog and YouTube channel has definitely been challenging! I have unexpected results and emotions that I had no idea would come up. I have had complete strangers message me notes of encouragement - which I found incredibly awesome!! But then I have had where people who were extended relatives and who I thought were friends not bother to even get back to messages. I have had people even bully about the way I am approaching my situation. Stating that I am just complaining instead of being happy that I am not 'worse off', or I am not 'being positive enough'. I have heard all kinds of stuff!! 

Today is Thursday, which I teach a few lessons and have church tonight. Hopefully this week I don't have any crazy mix ups! Last week I had forgotten my glasses (which it's really a mind thing by now, because I have the songs memorized but cannot play without my glasses). So we ended up singing a Capella. I love teaching music! It can be incredibly challenging teaching music blind, but I can do it. I am actually planning a YouTube video about it which I am hoping to remember to share to my page. 

Anyways, today is just an ordinary day, which these days are very much enjoyed! 

If you have not yet come across my YouTube channel here is the link to my playlist so far :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghFWHHMNVno&list=PLUcfPcdnELCL9aeI9fIHmsGPXNKN1x5lt

I tried to snap a pic of my day teaching (no students in pic because of privacy) 

Uhhh........filming for a YouTube video

You know when you want to get something done and you get alot of encouragement from people to get it done. But then when you go to do it you get stumped? That's what's going on with me and my YouTube videos - I have my channel all set up and ready to go, but I seem to get hung up with the little details. I want my hair to look nice, wear make-up or don't wear make-up, should I film in my bedroom, outside or another location. Can I really be me or do I need to be a little more formal?
 And then you have the thoughts.....
1. If I post a video on YouTube it will be public and everyone can see it:
2. I already get people that are rude or ignorant to me - what will the people be like in YouTubia
3. Will posting videos affect my future negatively
Well, before I penned the thoughts it felt like there were alot more haha

Tomorrow (August 30,2018) I will be getting a phone call for the interview with the Guide Dogs for the Blind. I honestly have no idea what to expect and that makes me a little anxious.
Not really sure that this amount of boredom is even worth a blog post, but here it is folks!! Good day and good night! :)